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By any other name?

I've been tossing this thought around and around for a week or so, I think, but tonight seems as good a time as any to voice it.

I've always had a sort of love-hate relationship with my names. They're amusingly unique, dare I even say special? I can always tell when someone's trying to address me, even if it's just by the awkward silence. But I've constantly flirted with changing it somehow: first, last, or both? Adding another? ("You can't do this to me! I'm C. Montgomery Burns!") Who knows? I don't. Probably the biggest reason why I've stuck with the status quo.

I'm likely to take my wife's surname if and when I marry. I plan to name my children in English, or any other language aside from the once I could conceivably claim as my own. I don't even speak that language: I chose to learn French and German instead. I don't attend Igbo cultural events (which is where my mother is at tonight, as a matter of fact) anymore. I haven't for years. I don't self-identify as Igbo, or Nigerian, or even, usually, as Black. Just as Canadian.

I seem to be doing my damnedest to make sure my cultural heritage ends with me. To assimilate into the society that I've found myself in. And I'm not entirely sure why I'm doing this, or whether I even should be. It seems, however, mostly too late to change that path.

So I guess I just have to see where it leads me, in the end.

-D.

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( Walk among 7 shadows — Cast a shadow )
opendestiny
May. 22nd, 2005 07:00 am (UTC)
Maybe it was just the going to grad thing, but life is not about the destination - its the journey that matters. Its the journey - our choices - that defines who we are. And look at this... you've got me being all philosophical. :p
paleshadow
May. 22nd, 2005 07:17 am (UTC)
And to think the philosophy was an afterthought. :P

Our choices define us, yes. And out choices are not always reversible. Or is it just that we don't always want to reverse them...even when we think perhaps we should?

-D.
generationxwing
May. 22nd, 2005 07:03 am (UTC)
Hee. My dad's given up on me carrying on the family name, so my little brother's gettin' the pressure.

My mom's family is heavy-duty Ukrainian, but I think it pisses 'em off because I don't plan on being a housewife and popping out kids for the rest of my life. (I also don't speak any Ukrainian, or go to church)
paleshadow
May. 22nd, 2005 07:30 am (UTC)
Well, yes, but you're not really expected to, are you?

And good on you for exceeding expectations. :P

-D.
generationxwing
May. 22nd, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)
Expected to be a housewife? Yeah, my grandfather expects it. He's very old fashioned in that sense.
paleshadow
May. 22nd, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC)
More like expected to carry on the family name, but your point is taken. :)

-D.
rumor_esq
May. 22nd, 2005 02:18 pm (UTC)
D (C?), I didn't know you were Igbo, although I guess how could've I when you didn't tell me. ;) The only thing I know about Igbo I learned from Things Fall Apart so, uh, that's probably not very useful. What's my point? I'm not sure! It took my until I was 27 yrs old to discover I am 75% polish/ukranian, and I have to guess at the other 25%. I guess our family is not huge on heritage, although my Dad wants me to "carry on the family name." I don't have any plans for kids, though. I never really liked my given names, but never gave serious thought to changing them, and now I'm comfortable with what they are, because no matter what your name is, it's still just a name. No matter how plan or outlandish, I think it will always have an odd duality for the person it's attached to: it will become so mundane that you won't really think about it, and at the same time always bother you. :P

I'm just rambling here, really. Personally, I like the uniqueness of your name, if that helps.
( Walk among 7 shadows — Cast a shadow )