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...I am grateful for the hands holding mine, to lead the way through the long, dark, tea-time of the soul. Many thanks to Kim, Mike, and Lindsay for kind and helpful words.

So, I'm more or less recovering from my funk of yesterday. For those of you who didn't know I was in said funk, count yourselves lucky.

Angst and distress and worry are welcome - he who does not suffer does not really live. What is wrong and cowardly is to let them paralyse you. And that, I refuse to do.

I have my goals for this year, and for once I am motivated and determined to accomplish them. For what that is worth.

I grow to believe I am worthy of a great many things- if I can improve myself in these following ways or make the sincerest of efforts, I think I will seal the belief in my own capacity for independent adulthood and all that jazz.


  • I will be even less of an asshat about school than I was last year. Much room for improvement remains, and it is necessary. Third time pays for all: ten years from now, nobody except me will care about my GPA - all they will care about is that piece of fake sheepskin on my wall. Or its lack.
  • I will write the LSAT. I will do my best on it. I will see where that result takes me.
  • I will finally get my permit and then learn to drive. Or confirm that my eyesight is too bad to do so. Whichever works.
  • I will make further effort to regain some strength in my legs. Or confirm that I have already reached the limits of responsiveness that my nerve damage will allow. Whichever works.
  • I will go out more. I want to start attending Dominion nights at New City, seeing more live music, seeing more movies, or live theatre, or even just hitting the occasional bar in the right company.
  • I will date. Casually. Three is a vast improvement over the previous twenty years' record of zero...but I think I can do better. :P I will be up-front about not being after commitment - at 21 this is not exactly a surprise. I will befriend someone before I ask them out, in hopes that I will remain their friend after it's over and done. I will actually do some of the asking this time around.
  • I will have fun.


Incidentally, you know you've been a student too long when you make "new school-year" resolutions. Next I'll be having rocking parties the night before the first day of school, complete with Dick Clark impersonators, countdowns, and kisses at midnight.

Actually, that might not be such a bad idea. Minus the Dick Clark impersonators.

As soon, that is, as I sort out where the hell I'm going to live, and who I'll be living with. Since apparently Andy's decided to stay home (boo!), I have to continue looking farther afield. My place is already up on the SU's Off-Campus Housing Registry, I now have to make a few more postings in areas the sort of roomies I'm looking for would frequent. If that doesn't pan out...I guess I start packing. Sigh.

-D.

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Comments

( Walk among 5 shadows — Cast a shadow )
vlosk
Aug. 19th, 2005 12:57 am (UTC)
Even if we didn't comment [my bad], in the darkest moments of funk you can always rest assured that we're here for you!

Go for the resolutions; I think thats the best thing I've heard you say in a long while. Whatever the result, I know you'll be successful. If you're ever interested in a game of pool over a pint, I'd be more than willing to meet you at the powerplant! [oh, and if you're hosting any crazy parties, celebraying a new year or otherwise, count me in!]

And yes, I think I may be stuck here at home... though if you happen to find a spiffy 2 bedroom place within a reasonable distance of whyte / downtown / campus, and are still stuck for a room-mate, give me a shout. [I guess you could say that your current distance is un-reasonable :P]

Still, you'll do fine! We're here for you, and you'll never know how far you can go until you've given it your best shot, so go for it!

Oh, and is there any way you can bend you're schedule so you can make it to Mom's brunch this Sunday? I'd really like to introduce you to Jen!

paleshadow
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, bud. What else are friends for? You know I've got your back too. And hey, if you ever need to kick my ass at pool, drop me a line.

I know my current distance is unreasonable. But it's hard to beat the rent. Or dispensing with the unpleasantness of moving for at least a while longer. :) Though don't claim that you're stuck. Or I'll kill you. :P I might have to move anyway, but it will be vastly easier to slot myself into someone else's roommate arrangement. Ve shall see.

Sadly, I don't expect that I'll be able to make it out to your place on Sunday morning. Wangling a ride will be impossible, and of course you know how transit is. :)

-D.
vlosk
Aug. 19th, 2005 10:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks, and I'll hold you to that game of pool!

I'm only "stuck" because I can't justify my desire to move out... blasted parents actually behaving. Curses! Do let me know what happens in the whole moving out side of things though...

Where would you be Sunday morning!? It would be great to have you along for the party; is there anything I can do to help?
paleshadow
Aug. 19th, 2005 11:25 pm (UTC)
Andy, I've been listening to you recite that old frustrated mantra for nearly two years, remember? :P You can justify whatever you want and you know it. Meh. No biggie. I'll tell you how things turn out. It promises to be chaotic. As always.

On Sunday, I will be...at home, most likely. Since Mom does the whole morning church thing, getting out will be problematic. And I don't get the new buses for another two weeks. Pity, that.

On the briight side - tonight. Goblins With Aim, part 2. Be there, or be oddly-shaped.

-D.
vlosk
Aug. 19th, 2005 11:38 pm (UTC)
Ya, I know... and I want to move out, behaving 'rents or otherwise... but a significant amount of $ towards a condo / all the rent money and such to savings from now until april is quite the incentive to stay on for a few more months... but we shall see.

Sunday, no chance you could suffer through curch? [ironic as that may sound]. I know its not your thing... but still! Or would your mom be coming here directly after... couldn't she pick you up?

And yes, I'll be there... apparently its doomsday in Tom-Ville!

( Walk among 5 shadows — Cast a shadow )