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Apropos Of Nothing

So, after Friday night's birthday party full of lesbians and counterculture types, I spent Saturday in a Catholic church. I found the juxtaposition amusing, otherwise I probably wouldn't have mentioned the former - it was a cool time and it was great to see Rhea and Renee, Emily and Melody again, but there really wasn't that much more to be said there.

"But!", some of you might ask, "what were you doing in a church?" (others of you might add "and why aren't you a pile of ash now?", but I've made that joke too many times recently anyway!)

Long story short: my cousin is getting married this fall and, in an event that I'm assuming is simply correlated to instead of caused by this, her fiance was baptised and confirmed yesterday during the Easter Vigil service, and we went out to be all supportive-audience for the pair of them. They both looked delighted, and I'm glad for that (especially since it means that the thoughts it inspired were only abstract instead of actually questioning anyone's sincerity in particular.)

I haven't been to a Catholic service in a long time, and St. Patrick's Basilica is a completely different beast from the churches I used to attend back home - though I'll admit it's mostly due to the architecture and decor, which I can only call "awesome" in the purest sense of the word.  The sheer ceremony and history of the Catholic liturgy has always held this odd mix of intimidation and inspiration for me, whatever my opinion of the underlying assumptions. After the service, we went to dinner and a reception at the home of a friend of my cousin's, complete with the parish priests and various other well-wishers. Complete with wine, though I didn't drink nearly enough to have expected the effects on my balance that I actually got - this concerns me! I am clearly out of practice.

The whole event got me to thinking- though it was as much this as my sister gushing over how romantic it was, and similarly that a friend of hers was converting to Judaism for her fiance - or was it the other way around? I don't remember anymore, but it doesn't change the point of how uneasy I am about the idea of marriage-bed religious conversions in the abstract. Whether it's as the result of an ultimatum or simple peer pressure, I remain unsure that it's usually something to celebrate, that it's usually something that would have happened anyway through the simple matter of similarly-frequent exposure to adherents of Religion X? Do any of the rest of you have any ideas about when it really is romantic, or laudable, to say "This aspect of my identity that I was entirely happy with before I met you is going to be sacrificed on your altar )no pun intended - okay, fine, I'm lying) because I love you JUST THAT MUCH"?

And yes, Julia, this is the alcohol and incense story. I told you it wasn't fun - I could definitely use a better one. :P


( Walk in the shadow — Cast a shadow )
Apr. 14th, 2009 06:12 am (UTC)
Wow, that's a pretty impressive looking church.

Marriage-bed religious conversions are, in my opinion, a bad idea. If you are going to change religions, it should be because you believe in that new religion and not because someone is pressuring you into it.

I know of a few situations were its worked out. But, most of the time, I've noticed that it just causes a source of constant friction and usually the destruction of the marriage as they aren't really converted to their supposed new religion. But, its all about the level of sincerity, it could very well work out.

Though the same tends to happen in a mixed-faith family anyways, and probably leads to confused children.

Heck, I know of a few girls who have done what they call "flirt to convert" to try to convert guys by pretending to be interested in them. And, I have never seen it work out well for anybody in the end.

So, I don't think that there is anything particularly romantic about a marriage-bed conversion.

I know for myself, that I wouldn't even consider dating, much less marrying, anyone that wasn't of my faith. And I would be incredibly leery of anyone who would convert cause of obvious intentions towards me.
( Walk in the shadow — Cast a shadow )